god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
