I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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