You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
