He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
