So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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