I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Holy shit dude........stairs
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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