i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
