I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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