is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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