We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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