Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
