ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
