Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
two words: eviction party
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
