In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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