I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
