Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
All the doctor said was why
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
