Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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