I accidentally had phone sex last night
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
