i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Randomize
