just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
