i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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