I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dicks are not precious.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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