9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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