I heard we made out
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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