Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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