when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Less talking, more tequila
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize