he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
