I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
