Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
