We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
