idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
