Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
