He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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