talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
