Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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