Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
