Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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