I am spending my child support on dildos
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
