i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
