She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
