just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
