It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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