how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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