It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
