I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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