I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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