why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
