I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
