gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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