I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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