It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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