I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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