So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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