I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i now understand why vodka
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
