Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
