Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think a kid would responsible me up
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize