Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
