No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
