it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
