he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
