Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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