I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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