great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
