He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
