Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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