You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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