i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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