This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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