.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
