There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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