The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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