so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
did i walk over a car last night?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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