After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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