What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
